Push or Pull
by outerelf
Summary: G1 verse. Cybertronians have never had to deal with open and shut doors before. So, Spike takes things into his own hands. drabbelish oneshot


Spike stared at the door. Or what was left of the door at least. Once again it had been reduced to a mangled mass that the Autobots seemed to have such fun doing.

Spike looked over his shoulder to see Ironhide fuming in the driveway. "Ironhide, you can't just go tearing off peoples doors."

"I couldn't tell if you were in there, and the door reused to slide open? What did you expect?" Ironhide snapped.

Spike shook his head. "How many times do I have to tell you, these doors don't _slide_ they swing!"

Ironhide grumbled, "Seems rather silly to me. Why won't you allow us to install sliding doors?"

"Because I'm supposed to be a regular human!" Spike said, waving his arms. "I know I'm an ambassador for Cybertronians with a large parking garage created for any who want to stay here, but that doesn't give you the right to tear off the door!"

Optimus Prime smoothly pulled in beside Ironhide as he agreed, "It doesn't. Ironhide-"

"If you want me to stop, then you have to get a sliding door. I don't understand this." Ironhide grumbled. "And If I don't, then neither will Kup when he comes to visit."

Spike stifled a groan. While Kup had been interesting for the first few times he had met the mech, after awhile he could see why most tended to avoid the older mech. "I see. I'll see what I can do to keep the door from being ripped off its hinges."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Spike stared morosely at the fast-food restaurant he had pulled up alongside, as he was stuck in traffic. His eyes slid from side to side as he waited impatiently or the light to change. And then his eyes ell on the sign stuck on the restaurant door. He stared at it, only able to make out a few words, but he suddenly grinned. _I think I have an idea._

His mind buzzed with the idea as he drove the rest of the way to the Ark, and to his surprise he found Red Alert sulking outside. "Red Alert?"

"Spike. I'm sorry, but unfortunately most of the other mechs have left for Washington D.C. And those left kicked me out of the control room claiming I needed some air."

Red Alert flinched as a bird cooed from somewhere. "Slag it! How can you stand this planet? It's so noisy!"

Spike looked at the giant robot, feeling slightly sorry for Red Alert. He had heard about the sensor net Red Alert had, and didn't envy the Autobot one bit. "Red Alert. Maybe you can help me?"

Red Alerts head cocked thoughtfully as he stared down at the human, and Spike quickly outlined what he needed.

Red Alert stared at the human for a moment, before at last he nodded. "Yes, I think you could get that. However, the mech you'd probably want to talk to most is Jazz. JAZZ!"

Spike managed not to flinch as Red Alert roared Jazzs name, and he grinned as the mech appeared in the doorway. "Jazz!"

"Spike! How do ya do? What's the matter Red?"

"Spike wishes to talk to you about a project. Only two orns, five breems and thirteen clicks are left until I'm coming back inside, and then I'm cleaning out the stash of high-grade you have under the couch in the rec room Jazz."

Jazzs smile grew slightly strained and Red Alert glared out at the surrounding landscape. "Come on Spike. Let's get on inside and see if we can't get what you need.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Jazz stifled his chuckles as he finished up with the poster. "This is genius Spike. How'd you come up with it?"

"I saw something a lot like it on my way here." Spike explained as he looked at the poster. "Isn't it a little small? Will Kup be able to see it?"

"Cybertrons aren't like humans. If our optics get blurry we can get them replaced." Jazz said grinning. "Trust me, Kup will not be able to miss it."

Spike took the oversized poster as he moved towards the doorway. "Thanks Jazz."

"Hey, why'd you come here in the first place?"

"To see about getting sliding doors, but I think this will work much better." Spike called over his shoulder.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Stupid door!" Ironhide raged, pulling at the door. "Why won't you open?"

Ironhide glared at the door, wondering if anyone would complain if he destroyed it. Spike might, but it was the little humans fault for not getting a sliding door when Ironhide had suggested it. "Umm, Ironhide, maybe if you read the sign?" Sideswipe suddenly oared, suspiciously sounding as if he was going to laugh.

Ironhide glared at Sideswipe and was about to point out there was no sign, but he stopped dead as he spotted the sign.

_Push Don't Pull._

_You can pull all you want, but this door is pretty stubborn._

SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs

I swear, I have seen this sign before, and it just stuck in my mind. Afterall, cybertron had sliding doors, not opening and shut doors. So, imagine how much trouble they had with these doors.


End file.
